In the legendary tale of William Tell, a sharpshooter is tasked with shooting an apple off his son’s head. In this high-stakes moment, William Tell experiences what we call “pressure,” while his son is overwhelmed by “stress.”
The fundamental difference? Control. William Tell has the bow, the arrow, and the skills… and thus, he can influence the outcome. His son, however, can merely stand still and hope for the best.
Questions for you to ponder:
- As education leaders, how often do we find ourselves in either William Tell’s or his son’s shoes?
- What aspects of our professional life can we actually control?
- How can distinguishing between pressure and stress help us lead more effectively?
Stress often arises when factors are beyond our control. Pressure, conversely, resides in the realm where our skills and actions can impact the result. Understanding this difference is the first step in showing up as your “best self” in leadership roles.
It was through this lens that I worked with an executive coach nearly three years ago who opened my mind to the difference between self-management and self-care. In a masterstroke, she asked me at once to do something that seemed at first simple but proved to be weeks of work.
“Draw a vertical line down a blank piece of paper,” she said. “At the top of the left column, write self-management. At the top of the right column, write self-care.” What happened next changed my life and my approach to stress.
Self-management: Daily armor against stress
Self-management techniques act as our shield against stress when navigating the intricate labyrinth of educational leadership. These are the strategies we employ to cope with daily pressures and stresses … some healthy, some not.
Activities such as exercise, talking with a confidant or even taking a walk can serve as constructive outlets for stress. There are darker forms of self-management as well. These are also ways to cope with stress and are often described as unhealthy. Perhaps this relates to food, or alcohol or television.
If you’re wondering what qualifies as self-management, recognize that when you are doing whatever activity it is, you’re usually thinking about work. You might be solving problems, you might be planning, you might be reflecting, etc. The point is that you are actively working on work and trying to resolve whatever is causing you stress or pressure.
Reflective exercise: In a non-judgmental self-analysis, take a moment to jot down the self-management techniques you’ve employed over the past month. Reflect on the frequency with which you’ve engaged in these behaviors. Be honest with yourself.
Resources for healthy self-management
- Many state associations have fitness groups as part of the membership. If not through your association, search your community for walking clubs, running clubs, golf teams, etc. Committing to a club will help ensure this becomes a habit.
- Join a gym and secure a trainer. Again, the trainer not only helps you but serves as an accountability partner.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques
- Mindfulness and meditation apps
- Employee assistance programs (EAP) for mental health support
The aim is to integrate beneficial behaviors into our daily routines. These positive self-management techniques not only mitigate stress but also foster problem-solving. On the flip side, detrimental habits should be replaced with healthier alternatives.
Self-care: Replenishing the reservoir
While self-management helps us cope, self-care serves to recharge us. These are the activities that “fill our cup,” to borrow a phrase, offering us rejuvenation away from the stressors of work life.
Here’s how to distinguish between self-management and self-care. Whereas self-management above is described as activities you engage in while actively working through problems or planning about work, during self-care you are not thinking about work. As a concrete example, perhaps getting a massage is self-management for some (thinking about work, solving problems), it could be self-care for others (thinking about things besides work).
Reflective exercise: What activities have historically made you lose track of time and stress? Whether it’s reading a novel, hiking or engaging in a hobby, make a list. How long has it been since you’ve last engaged in these activities? If it has been a long time, I’m sure your excuse goes something like this, “I don’t have the time.”
Many years ago, someone who I loved very deeply helped me understand that “I don’t have the time” is code for “I don’t care.” You make the time for the things you care about. I’m here to tell you it is OK for you to care about yourself.
Lead by example
Mental wellness is not a luxury; it is an essential component of effective leadership. As stewards of education, we are responsible not just for curricula and policies but for the well-being of our staff and students. To serve them best, we must first take care of ourselves. This starts with identifying and integrating self-management and self-care techniques into our lives.
The challenge for today’s educational leaders is this: Make time within your schedules to actively engage in both self-management and self-care activities. Only by replenishing ourselves can we show up as our best selves, ready to guide others toward a brighter future.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree; neither does the quality of leadership from the state of one’s mental wellness. Choose your arrow wisely, aim carefully and make the shot count.
